The Talented Mr. Tyrion

Book I am reading:  A Clash of Kings

Chapters:  Tyrion II, Arya III

Booze in my flagon:  Cabernet Sauvignon

 

  Sorry I’ve been neglectful.  I’ve had the flu and can’t quite seem to shake it.  The Olympics are a big distraction too.  Hopefully I’ll get back into it soon.

 

Tyrion II

  Tyrion is wining and dining Janos Slynt.  You might remember Janos from such hits as helping Ned get arrested and helping Ned get executed.  What a guy!  Janos is all sloppy drunk because like Tyrion and myself he likes the wine.  Today however, Tyrion is staying sober so he can toy with Janos and get him talking.  He does this by giving him lots of passive aggressive compliments.  He manipulates Janos into admitting that his top toady Allar Deem killed Robert’s baby bastard and her mother at that brothel.  Then Tyrion really puts the screws in by bringing up the Night’s Watch and interrogating him about Ned’s execution.  Janos admits to his involvement with that whole mess.

  Tyrion decides to send him to the Night’s Watch.  This turns Janos into a blubbering mess.

Janos tries to act like he can get out of it, but the new commander of the city watch Jacelyn Bywater comes to escort him away.  Tyrion has Bywater suggest to the ships captain that will be taking Slynt and Deem north that Deem should encounter an unfortunate accident.

  With this being done, Varys swishes in.  Tyrion is a little annoyed with him for not cluing him on it being Cersei’s idea to kill all of Robert’s bastards.  I’m not sure who else he thought it could possibly be, but whatever.

  After lobbing subtext laden blurbs back and forth for awhile, Varys tells Tyrion his famous riddle about power being a trick and a shadow on the wall.  Because GRRM can’t let Tyrion soak in his high point of the series for too long.  No, he needs to be befuddled by Varys.

  Later on Tyrion and Bronn are conversing and Tyrion asks Bronn if he’d kill babies for him.  Bronn would do it for a price.  That gives Tyrion some dead baby flavored food for thought.

 

Arya III

  The NW party has left the king’s road and is travelling the broke down country roads.  Their progress is slow and it’s annoying Arya.  She’s also become paranoid about the gold cloaks catching up with them.  At one point they eat corn.  That’s weird because corn is a new world crop and Westeros is supposed to be like medieval Europe.  I know they’re aren’t exactly the same, but the prevalence of corn in ASOIAF always sticks out for me and I just had to get it out.

  The party spots a fire burning up the night sky for days.  Eventually they find a village that has been completely burned down.  There are burnt up bodies impaled on sticks.  Shudder.  The only survivors are a two year old girl who won’t stop crying and a woman with an amputated arm who has had some kind of PTSD breakdown.  Sadly she dies that night.  Another disturbing factoid is that the water they have to drink tastes like corpse.

  This must be the most disturbing chapter written from the perspective of a nine/ten year old girl ever.

 

Davos I

  Stannis, his wife Selyse and Melisandre have decided to burn Dragonstone’s statues of the Seven to solidify Stannis’ allegiance to R’hllor.  Davos is a little bit uncomfortable with this because it’s the faith he grew up with.  However, he feels he owes Stannis many solids for promoting him to knight instead of executing for smuggling so he just deals with it.  Also, Melisandre scares the crap out of him.

  After some chanting Mel talks about the hero of R’hllor faith Azor Ahai and his flaming sword Lightbringer.  There is a prophecy that AA will be reborn and will have his own Lightbringer.  Mel uses a glamor to make it look like Stannis’ sword is burning like Lightbringer.  Her whole schtick is that Stannis is AAR.

  Later, Davos is talking with his old friend the pirate Salladhor Saan.  He’s promised treasury from King’s Landing in return for Salla’s ships.  They trade some gossip and then Salla tells Davos more about the AAR myth.  Azor Ahai opposed the darkness that had fallen over the world by making a magical sword lightbringer.  It had to be forged three different times and didn’t become magical until it was used to stab his wife Nissa Nissa.  he had to sacrifice the most important thing to him.

  After the exposition talk with Salladhor, Davos is summoned for a council meeting with Stannis and his bannermen.  Stannis has a letter declaring Joffrey a bastard and Stannis the true king.  This letter is to be sent out all over the place to all the important lords.  This is also where we learn Davos can’t read.

  Stannis and Davos decide they need proof of Robert’s bastard making habit.  They have it in the form of Edric Storm.  Edric is the son of Robert and Delena Florent.  The problem is, he’s at Storm’s End which is Renly’s stronghold.

 

All right.  That’s all for now. I should be back Tuesday or Wednesday hopefully with a full entry.  For now, I must go hack up some more phlegm.

 

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