Get out of my dreams and into my crypt
Book I am reading: AGOT
Chapters: Bran VII, Sansa VI, Daenerys IX, Tyrion IX
Booze in my flagon: Vodka with sparkling water
Bran is watching Rodrick, who has returned to Winterfell train boys in sword fighting. No. That’s not what it sounds like. All the men have marched off with Robb so the young guys need to be trained to guard Winterfell.
Bran is telling Maester Luwin about the dream he had last night. The Three Eyed Crow told Bran to go down in the crypts with him. Ned was there and he was sad but he doesn’t remember what they talked about. Something to do with Jon. When he woke up, he tried to get Hodor to take him down there, but Hodor wouldn’t go. He wants Luwin to take him down to the crypts, but he thinks Bran is being silly and Ned won’t be dead for years. Oh, Luwin.
Osha pops up and offers to take him to the crypts. Summer follows and Luwin goes with them after all. There’s a cold and spooky feeling in the air. Bran thinks he hears something and Luwin, of course thinks it’s his imagination. Then Bran has been proven right. Something jumps out at them. It’s Shaggydog. Rickon’s wolf. SD is acting like Cujo and bites Luwin so Summer starts fighting him. It doesn’t stop until Rickon emerges from the shadows and calls SD off.
Rickon, in a remarkable vocabulary feat for a four year old explains that he dreamed about Ned, who told him he’s coming home. Luwin looks a little uncertain of his previous skepticism. They go to Luwin’s tower to dress his wounds. Luwin is still trying to rationalize the boys psychic dreams away. Osha is more open minded.
They wind up talking about the Children of the Forest. They were the creatures that lived in Westeros before the First Men came. The COTF and the First Men went to war when the FM came over from Essos. Eventually they made a truce and became friends. The First Men eventually took up the Children’s gods. The Old Gods that they still worship today. Luwin believes the COTF are all dead, killed when the Andals (southerners) invaded. Osha says they still live beyond the Wall.
All of a sudden Summer and Shaggydog start howling. Maybe they want snausages? Probably not. Bran has a feeling that something is very wrong. Rickon starts crying. Just then a raven arrives with the news of Ned’s death.
Sansa has been staying in bed crying and sleeping. She considers suicide by jumping out the window. She doesn’t do it. Probably for the best. She might have ended up like Bran. Eventually Joffrey makes her get up and join him at court. Finally, finally Sansa hates him as much as everybody else. He claims it was mercy to kill him cleanly and she still has to marry him. She tells Joffrey that she hates him and he has Kingsguard member Meryn Trant hit her. Classy.
At court, Joffrey makes all his rulings in the fashion of Kim Jong family members. Or insert whatever dictator you don’t like in the previous sentence. After court Joffrey makes Sansa take a walk with him. He calls her stupid and says Cersei thinks she’s stupid too. Now Sansa knows Cersei was just being phony to her all along.
Joffrey makes her go up to the battlements to looks at the severed heads on spikes of her father and the rest of the Stark household. He also has empty spikes for Stannis and Renly. He tells her that he’ll kill Robb and give her his head. Sansa says that maybe Robb will give her his head.
I will continue to post teen movie gifs as a way to deal with the sad and angry feelings these books give me.
Joffrey has Meryn hit her again. She contemplates throwing herself and Joffrey off the wall, but the Hound stops her.
Dany is having crazy fever dreams. I don’t feel like describing them. Suffice to say there is a major dragon theme. She finally wakes up and is very dizzy and weak. She drifts in and out of sleep. Mizzi keeps feeding her some sort of roofied wine. At one point she requests her dragon eggs come over for a cuddle.
At last she wakes up for realsies and learns that Rhaego is dead and Drogo is still alive. Nobody seems very happy about that though. Also, the baby looked like a hideous monster. Mizzi seems kind of gleeful about that. Dany decides to go see Drogo. Outside of the tent there are only about a hundred people. It turns out that a lot of Dothraki took this opportunity to make themselves Khals and everyone else followed them and left.
Drogo is basically comatose. It seems that Mizzi cheated her. She admits that it was revenge for what Drogo and his khalasar did to her people. She has Mirri carried off. Later, just before dawn she suffocates Drogo with a pillow.
Tywin is despondent because Robb has captured Jaime. Tyrion and Tywin’s bannermen argue over what to do next. Finally, Tywin kicks everyone but Tyrion and Kevan out. Tywin informs them that Renly has married Margaery Tyrell and has all of the Reach on his side. They decide that the most immediate priority is to take out the Starks before Stannis or Renly can do anything. Tywin declares they will go to Harrenhal.
Tyrion however, will not be going with them. Tywin is sending him to King’s Landing to go to court and act as acting Hand of the King. He forbids Tyrion from bringing Shae to court.
Deaths in this recap: 1. Drogo.
Cumulative deaths: 34
Maybe deaths in this recap: 0
Cumulative maybe deaths: 1
Betrayals in this recap: 1. Mirri Maz Durr pretended to be on Dany’s side and wasn’t.
Cumulative betrayals: 9
Incest incidents: 0
Cumulative incests: 6