I’ve Made a Huge Mistake Part Two.

Book I am reading:  AGOT

Chapters:  Daenerys VI, Eddard XIII, Jon VII, Eddard XIV, Arya IV

Booze in my flagon:  Pinot Grigio

 

Please scroll down and read part one along with an explanation for all this fuckery before you start part two please.

 

Eddard XII part II

  Robert, now on his death bed expresses regret for his plot to kill Dany.  He wants Ned to write out something.  A last will.  He appoints Ned the King Regent until Joffrey comes of age.  Ned wants to tell Robert Joffrey isn’t his son.  He wusses out though and changes the language to heir.  Ned naively thinks that at the prospect of Robert dying, Cersei will take her kids and run away.

  Outside the bedchamber, Ned is talking to Barristan Selmy of the Kingsguard who had accompanied Robert on the hunt.  He feels guilty and reveals that Robert was hunting drunk.  What a surprise!  Varys sidles up and inquires about who gave the king the wine.  Turns out it was his squire Lancel, Cersei’s cousin.  Hmm…

  As Ned leaves, Renly walks with him.  He offers Ned a bunch of men to seize Cersei and her kids before Robert dies.  Ned refuses because he’s all honorable and shit.

  Once Ned gets back to the tower of the hand, he sends for Littlefinger and also has a letter sent to Dragonstone to Stannis Baratheon.  Robert’s brother and AWOL small council member.  The letter names Stannis the new king when Robert dies.  LF however, advises Ned to keep Joffrey as king to make sure peace is kept.  Stannis is uncompromising and would have Cersei and her kids executed.  Tywin would hate this and probably make war.  Ned doesn’t bite and LF agrees to bribe the city watch to back Ned up.

 

Jon VII

  Jon’s scheme was successful.  Sam will be sworn in as a black brother.  Yay Sam!  Mormont gives them a nice little pre vow taking speech.  He warns them that once they it it’s permanent.  Most will take their vows in the sept.  Jon will take them at the heart tree in the grove of weirwoods beyond the wall.  Sam decides he wants to do the same.  The Seven never answered his prayers anyway.  Might as well vow take with his new BFF.

  Now it is time to assign everyone to their orders.  Jon, to his surprise and chagrin is sent to the stewards.  Lord Commander Mormont has requested Jon as his personal steward.  Jon is super pissed and insulted to be treated like a servant.  Sam sees it differently.  He thinks this means Jon is being groomed as a potential future LC.  Jon kind of realizes that Sam is right but he is determined to have a tantrum anyway.  Finally he starts to feel like an asshole and agrees to take his vows.

  Bowen Marsh leads them all through the tunnel to the north side of the wall.  Ghost accompanies them.  Jon gets a creepy vibe from the forest and Sam seems to share it.  After they take the vows they turn to go back to the Wall.  They see Ghost and he has a human hand in his mouth.

 

Eddard XIV

  Final preparations are being made for the girl’s trip back to Winterfell.  Ned is letting Arya squeeze in one last lesson with Syrio.  However, he doesn’t let Sansa say goodbye to Joffrey.  Of course he doesn’t explain why.  Ugh.

  Ned decides to convene an emergency meeting of the small council.  Varys, when he arrives informs Ned that Renly has left the city.  Oops.  The meeting is interrupted by a summons for the council members to come before Joffrey and Cersei.  Oh by the way, Robert is dead.  Somehow with me being in my cups and all, that was missed.  Oh well.

  Cersei rips up Robert’s will and calls it a paper shield.  She commands fealty to Joffrey, the new king.  Ned refuses and names Stannis the heir.  Ned call the gold cloaks to arrest Cersei.  Unfortunately, Janos Slynt has them kill all of the Stark men instead.  Fat Tom, Varly, Cayn and the rest are stabbed.  Littlefinger grabs Ned’s knife, puts it up to his throat and says one of my favorite and least favorite lines of the series.  “I did warn you not to trust me, you know.”  Oof.

 

Arya IV

  Arya and Syrio are having a lesson.  Syrio tells her a story about how he got the job as fist sword to the Sealord of Braavos.  The Sealord had a menagerie of exotic animals shipped in from all over the world.  The last sword died and the Sealord was auditioning replacements.  All the men got sent away and Syrio didn’t know why.  He walked in and saw a big fat cat on the Sealord’s lap.  It turns out he was the only one who noticed it was a regular cat because everyone else was expecting some exotic beast.  Syrio got the job because he looked with his eyes instead of seeing what he wanted.  Cats are common in Braavos so I’m not sure why he was the only one who picked up on this, but whatever.  It’s an important story for Arya’s development.

  Then their lesson is intruded on by Meryn Trant of the Kingsguard and some red cloaks (Lannister guards).  They want Arya to come with them and claim Ned has summoned her.  Syrio questions why Lannister men would be sent and Arya quickly realizes something in the milk of the poppy ain’t clean.  She refuses to go.  They try to take her by force and Syrio starts to fight them off.  He tells Arya to run away.  Syrio is really fast and impressive, but severely outnumbered.

  Arya runs away and comes across the corpses of all the Stark men outside the tower of the hand.  She runs off to the stables.  Hullen, the master of horse who used to call her Arya Underfoot dies right in front of her, having been stabbed many times.  She comes across the corpse of Desmond, who told her that her father would be all right and one northman was worth 10 from the south.

  Arya comes upon the carts full of her stuff.  Among the baggage, she finds her sword needle.  A stableboy walks in an threatens to turn her in to the queen.  Arya stabs him.  After this, she runs away again and finds her way back to the tunnels with the dragon skulls.

 

Deaths in this recap: 8  Biggest number yet by far.  Hullen and Desmond in.  Usually I only include named characters, but since the stableboy is important for Arya’s character development he is getting included.  Fat Tom, Varly and Cayn.  Viserys.  Robert.

Cumulative deaths: 22

Maybe deaths in this recap:  1  New category.  This category can be subtracted.  I will add to it anytime somebody is presumed dead.  If the death is confirmed it will be subtracted and added to the deaths category.  If they are confirmed living, the number will just go down.  This time it is Syrio that may or not be dead.

Cumulative maybe deaths:  1

Betrayals in this recap: 2  Viserys threatening Dany and her baby, Littlefinger pretending to be on Ned’s side and betraying him to Cersei.

Cumulative betrayals: 6

Incest incidents: 0 

Cumulative incests: 6

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